Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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