So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
