Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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