I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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