just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
