Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
