That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
