I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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