dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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