The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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