awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
