I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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