Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
