3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
