Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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