like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
