Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
