Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
