I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
