I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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