Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
