Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Alive.
So much puke
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
