Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
