Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
