I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
