time to smoke my breakfast
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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