Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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