I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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