Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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