how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
