the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
