swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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