there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
