he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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