do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
