Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
