She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
