somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
