you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
