My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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