I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
