I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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