I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Drake has all the answers
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
