But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
