So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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