I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
