So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
