He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
