your thong is hanging out like whoa
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
