Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
